Not too long ago, I saw a clip on the news from the swearing in of the new Iranian president. After seeing that man speak a few words, I got the feeling once again - writhing here like an ant pierced to the floor with a pin, how can I escape this world? All I could see was the determination and defiance in this man and an answer to those who keep asking who is next on America's invasion list. I foresee Iran taunting the West, and in particular, the U.S., like a lion tamer with his chair - unlike a lion, however, the US will not be tamed.

It is as if I already know the things that will happen. The direction of this world has been set and all I can do is wash my hands of the lot of them. I want nothing to do with any of them or with this world which they rule. I can do nothing, but stand by like a child watching parents at war and suffering the consequences - it would not be the first time.

I need refuge from this world and from the meticulous details and explanations of people and their acts, from their anger and their hatred, their grudges, their lust for power and vengeance. I hate those emotions, even in myself, and I just want to run away from them and forget what brought them. I have to get away from them. They are what creates hell on earth.

I just turn away from this world and wait until freedom comes. In the meantime, my only escape is inside myself, the only place I can find peace and love, in my heart and in my mind, and there I will not even have to be in my loneliness much longer, but with my good husband. If there is a way to make a heaven on earth together with him, we will find it - to be with him, like a cool, delicate and refreshing snowflake thriving amidst the fires of hell, in a world where I do not suffer for the evil and ill-willed deeds of others - that is the least I could wish for, as even to live beside them as an onlooker, seeing what is inside them, is sufficiently disturbing, and to live in the world with blinders, as if the evil deeds did not exist, seems selfish and cruel to those who still must suffer their consequences.